i love God. i really do.

I made two new IHOP budz. Connie and Ferika.

Connie made two friends today. Both of them bald, except one was black and one was white. The white bald guy almost hit her face with the camera. The black bald guy doesn't know who Connie is. She tickels my funny bone.

"Call me ASAP! I was watching the news and I heard the short bus flipped over & I know how you don't wear your helmet! Are you ok??"

Ferika rode the short bus today. Well, the shuttles. They looked icky to me but she said they were cool. She also got Connie in a leg lock and Connie farted in her face because she was afraid (not scared).

::you're sitting next to someone. they look interesting so you kind of want to talk to them. it sort of seems like they want to also. But then neither does. so that sucks.::

Remember how I wrote about Vivienne? And how I wanted her to be more attractive than me? Well, I got my wish. sort of.

Turns out that everyone in Kansas City is beautiful. Maybe its because they all look so different than people back home. But you can't go outside without seeing really attractive people.
I have never felt so ugly and i can feel my insecurities rising.

I saw this pretty girl the other day and I started feeling self-conscious. So I tried thinking "You know what Sylvia, God thinks you're beautiful." Afterwards I felt like a loser for two reasons.

1.) I felt like that idiot in school that is really weird and says stuff like, "Well, my mom says I'm special." and everyone laughs because being weird is not special.
&
2.) I said afterwards, "God can probably see she's still more beautiful."

I don't know why I prayed for Him to help me with my insecurities. They suck. But I guess this is God, huh? no one said it'd be easy i guess...