girl in the red hat

I'm here watching (or attempting to, at least) Elizabethtown at 1005. We're at the scene where Susan Sarandon is tap dancing to her dead husband's favorite song. Tap dancing is pretty ridiculous-looking. If I was the dead husband, I'd sent an earthquake from Heaven to stop her. Husband, if you're reading this out on blogger world, learn another hobby.

I've been having some interesting things happen recently. I'm being blessed with some messed up memories.

I saw a puppy get run over.

"Hello?! Help!" have become second nature. Very useful when you're stranded on a balcony at 2 in the morning.

I've rediscovered Ryan Adams and I'm starry-eyed. This isn't really a memory, but if by reading this you are the least bit interested, it has served its purpose.

I hope I don't blow up Lisa's kitchen tomorrow. I'm a tad intimidated. I hope Julia Child comes back from the dead and helps me out.

Isn't it ironic that separations draw people who weren't close....close? Why now and not then? I don't know if I should feel offended or flattered.

It's 10 14 and yet it feels like it's 1 in the morning. Maybe its because this movie seems to drag... Stuff like this never happens. It NEVER happens.

($)?(#)

Looking through the folder with all of my photos, I have 450+. It would have been double that, but alas life is cruel (or at least technology is) and my computer crashed. *tear* Anywho, I asked a couple of you for random numbers. I chose the photo I'm about to describe by the number you gave me and listed them by the time you replied. Morris answered first. So Here it goes...

Morris: #2




I invited Caroline to my cousin's wedding, around March/April of 07. Before the wedding, she came over and got ready at my house. I showed interest in her curling iron, and so she curled my hair as well. Turned out pretty cool, but I'm still stylistically an idiot and have yet to curl my hair on my own. Caroline wore her Pearl Harbor dress (looked very pretty btw) and I wore something completely inappropriate for a wedding. Cousin looked pretty pissed, but that's Sylvia for you. Rule-breaker

Erika: #233


Michelle, April, Bon and I went to go have lunch at Vermilion that day. Spur of the moment "girl day". I ordered the "lite" plate while everyone else had the normal one. There was nothing lite about it. hmm what else? I think we almost died at least seven times because of April's driving. Towards the end of the day, I don't think we cared about dieing anymore cuz Michelle had found a cool wedding dress, we ate Red Robyn and scored a free milkshake, and I received a nice surprise phone call.

Ace: #37




This is a cool one. His name is Howard. He befriended Alyx and I as we were vandalizing Michelle's car with post it notes for her twenty-second. It was around 1 am and we just see this duck. wasnt little, wasnt big. it was like a teen duck. anyways, it just came up to alyx, got right next to his feet, looked up at him, and started cuddling with him. maybe its mom had died or something. howard spent the rest of the night switching cuddle partners and even crapped on victor. i think it followed rene home. how sad...


Bon: "642 jk 127"




On our way to jesusculture dallas with the willies. driving towards dallas but makde a pit stop five or six hours into the drive. it was literally by grace that we found this rest stop. i think someone had even prayed that we could eat right next to a river. right next to the river there was an old-school water mill that was abandoned so we all had our mini-exploration there. looking at stuff like this reminds you how ugly brownsville is. ::debbie downer::

smumeritme

Figure 20.1

Doesn't my mom look effin brown in this picture? Dang.

i've been twenty for 3 days now. I like it more than I thought I would. A couple of people spoil me and call me 19 because they know I like it. thanks. I need to grow up though, so i'll own the 2 and dismiss the 1.
When I had breakfast with my family(20.1), my dad told the waitress:
"you know, it's her birthday today. she's turning 20. i know she doesn't look twenty but she is. she's twenty and already finished her third year of college and now she is even a manager at H-E-B."
all while making that face where you raise your eyebrows and it means start your compliments.
i've learned that my dad really loves me. he's just has a hard time stumbling.
there are times where he annoys the hell out of me. i bought a car recently and he'd call 5 times a day to talk about what we spent an hour talking about the day before.
i just realized though that his worries are his affection towards me. he wants me to have a safe trip to kc because he loves me.
he even offered to buy me a gun.
so don't eff with me.

My internship was supposed to end on the 8th but the hurricane pushed it back to this week. I want to finish so bad already; I get to make an extra paycheck so i'll grin and bear it. What have I learned, you say? Glad you asked...

• when a man with a mustache asks you for a job, it actually means "would you like to have breakfast in acapulco?"
• it's fun to listen to Selena at 6 am. it was the only reason i would smile.
  
• i need God to help me learn how to serve people who aren't nice to me

Took a trip to SA with 5 strangers. Six total, three guys and three gals. I was scared that they wouldn't like me, but they did and we had a lot of fun. Made me happier and more comfortable about leaving. I'll be happy to see them again on Thursday.

Leaving in around 2 weeks. I keep hearing songs about leaving crappy towns and i'm always like "yeah! right on!!" countdown continues...

fade away

In a little less than four weeks, I'm starting a new chapter in my life. Maybe the "new chapter" thing is a little over-used but I can't think of anything that would be more appropriate. Ever since breaking up with Davy (no, even while I was with him), I knew that I wanted a time where I could separate myself from everything that I knew. And now my thoughts are going to become reality.

I love everyone that I have met up until this point. I'm full of everyones finger prints, everyone leaving a little part of them in me. Some people are more enjoyable than others, that's true. But God put even the smallest person in my path, so I can't help but love them because they are divinely placed.

I have my days where I'm scared of acceptance, but i'm also human and face insecurities all the time. But for the most part, whether people in kansas city like me or not, i'm so excited to leave you all behind.
I'm being a little melo-dramatic. I mean, I'm only leaving for three months right?
we'll see...
all i know is that for the first time in a really long time, things are finally on my terms and the ball is in my court.

truth

Climbing into your car seemed like a good idea. You drove a crazy old car. Something from the 70s. Seemed more old-fashioned than trendy but you were crazy about it, so that's cool.

BAM!

Who in their right mind would let Ryan Adams behind the wheel? You looked nervous. I could tell. We get out to inspect the damage he made. Some paint came off of yours. Some paint came off of his. Didn't seem like such a big deal but you made it one.

A list of titles comes rushing out of the ground. Ryan offers to play us any 5 of his songs. We choose. I love Ryan Adams. I was excited. You were still pissed about your car but hid it because of my excitement.

I see you start running in another direction. I remember seeing your scarf fly up.
"Where are you going?"
"Be back in a bit. I wouldn't leave you, darlin'."


I always liked it when you called me darlin'

12

Twelve days until I turn 19 again. I'm kind of apathetic. but weirdly enough, this is the first year that I feel comfortable asking for things for my birthday. I usually feel unworthy, but now I see things as I rummage through stores and I say, "Ooh, I like. My (insert gift here)" [John & Kate + 8] style. Too bad they are usually things that are effin expensive. oh well

anyways. update.
so I have two weeks left of my internship. Went by pretty quick. Not sure what I learned, but I made a heck of a lot of money(!) and that's what counts... for IHOP at least. So now I think for the time being H-E-B wants me to stay on board and work there up until I leave in Sept. The lazy part of me just wants to chill for 3 weeks but I wouldn't let myself.

hmm. what else?
Well, I talked to Lisa about my "problem". She told me not to eat cheesecake for the week and see how it goes. Today is the third day with no cheesecake, and damn do I want some cheesecake lol. Well, not really. It'd be nice once in a while. Maybe I'll keep it to like a week-end only type of deal. We'll see what God says.

I think that if I could live someone else's life for one day I would choose Agyness Deyn (sp?). I would say Karen O but that would be too obvious. In my one Agyness Deyn day I would make sure to fly to NYC and see a YYY show to get my fix. Actually she doesnt even seem that cool. I saw a video of her giving an interview and she looked like a typical snarky idiot. but she knows how to dress. I'll give her that. So in my one day I'd probably ship her wardrobe to 544 Galveston and spend the rest of my life trying to fit her size 00 frame.

This is what happens when it's 12 and you just got your Internet back after x-amount of days.

I don't think I will ever understand you. Maybe thats a good thing, although right now I don't see how it could be. And as hard as you may try, I don't think you will ever understand me either.

Impatience is one of my weaknesses. Why am I like this? Knowledge and information are my security. I would like to know everything about you and everyone you know. Not because I like to gossip or feel like being nosey. But because I would like to take the guessing game out of life. I'm frustrated. Hurt. Confused. These past couple of months have been like hell. I miss you and them. I miss 17 year old Sylvia. God, I'm so selfish...

I wish you would just make it stop already and make me blind. I forgot how ugly things surfacing looked like

I'm so happy God doesn't see it my way. I don't really know how to "search things out". I need You to help me with that.