devil Disappear

This whole "blogger" thing is pretty funny to me. your fingers start moving, your letters turn into words, words form sentences, and thus a thought is shared. I guess I just think its funny because I know the people who read this, and its only like three...tops (czi'maloser). So
Hi Morris
Hi Bon
Hi Erika

Anyways, I don't have much to share. I wish I had this awesome revelation to share. Or some crazy testimony that happened. But, instead I'm going through a weird phase right now. I know that God isn't based off of works (and praise God for that, seriously), but I still feel like I'm failing. And before I go any further, let me just say that I don't think any of the thoughts I'm having are God-given or whatever, it's just what I'm going through.

I haven't read the word or prayed or had any alone time with God in a looong time. Part of me would LOVE to blame it on school, but that would be silly. God has agabiliionjillionfrhbuiweohfuw 17893057x things to do in the scope of 24 hrs, but He always finds time to be with me, so why haven't I? I wish this wasn't a normal occurence, but unfortunately it is. It's these weird seasons I go through. like a rollercoaster. up down up down up down (i just want OFF already)

But whatever. If this blog sounds kind of "blah" then....good. It's cuz i feel "blah".

BUT! God is so good. For real........
And I am sure without a shadow of a doubt that He will pull me through.
It is definitely not His will for me to stay in a level of conformity or to get attacked with the devil's thoughts toward me. I'm actually really excited. I can feel God as I'm typing this. I partly want to cry. Anyways, I'm stoked that all God has to say is "devil disappear!" and he is gone. How awesome that our Father loves us so much.

"God, I'm sorry if I haven't proven to be faithful or if I've even considered believing the lies againt me. I'm sorry Lord. I accept everything that you have towards me, and I thank you for your constant love being poured out (even when I don't "feel" it). I love you with all of my heart,mind,soul, and strength. Every day, hour, minute, and second of my life! Lord, I need help. I can't do this without you. Start up the fire in my heart. I mean, you're a consuming fire... so give me some of that. Let deep call unto deep for the rest of my time here."

first

Dear Dad,
Como estas? Enjoying heaven I presume.
I wish I was there with you right now.
I'm very homesick, as you can see.
You're so nice and graceful,
the words in your letter sometimes make me feel as if I was really there.
You must know how much I miss You
and so you do your very best to comfort me.
And I love you for that.
You know I do.
But still...
I would like to see you.
Sooner rather than later :)
You know, funny story.
I was on the computer with Isabel the other day
and she was showing me a DJ playing with his light show in the back.
And I thought to myself:
"That doesn't even compare to the colors my dad has."
So I might be wrong, but
I think that at times you give me thoughts like that.
You place them in my heart because you must know
how homesick I am.
I like to think that you say to yourself:
"Man I want Sylvia to know how much I wish she was here with me.
Let me let her know I'm thinking about her.
Let me show her a part of me.
I want to speak into her heart today."
So dad,
I just want to let you know that I hear you loud and clear.
I love you and I miss home terribly.
And I can't wait to see your colors again.
So until we meet again
(sooner rather than later! please...)

-Sylvia

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