graduation

I was thinking about it today. It's about eight months from now. It's not tomorrow, but it's hardly an eternity either, you know?

I'm not too sure what I make of it yet. I guess for the most part I'm so consumed by everything leading up to it, that the actual aftermath of shaking a hand and receiving a paper hasn't sunk in. And I doubt it will anytime soon. Maybe next semester.

I have been making progress in some areas, though. I no longer feel tied to the label of my major.

The lib arts major.
The history major
The business major
The science major

It's like a college-level Breakfast Club - minus the good acting, of course. I should bring it up to that guy Arthur. Maybe he can write a play out of it. He can be Molly Ringwald.

But getting back to the subject... I kept thinking that because I'm a business major it meant that I would inevitably become a drone, working in a cubicle, wearing a power suit. But now I accept that if this is indeed what happens to me, it's only because I allowed it to.

I know I "tweeted" this earlier - so I apologize for the repetition - but as I was doing my management homework and listening to my nostalgic high school punk, I realized that it is possible to be both.

It's possible for me to be Sylvia and a management major.
The contradictions can live in harmony and all can be well in my world.

It's absolutely silly that a pandora playlist brought this revelation along, but hey. whatever. It's kind of like Maggie Gyllenhal's character in Stranger than Fiction. You wouldn't think of a baker to be some antagonist riot girl, but she made it her own.
lol ok. you know you're desperate when you look to will ferrell movies for life's inspiration. i think i've gone off the deep end. nothing more of this.

However, on an unrelated note, I'm really enjoying smoking right now. It's such a simple pleasure :) I only smoke one cigarette a week. I think that makes me enjoy it that much more. And i'm happy that I mostly smoke when I'm alone in my car. Not like the people that smoke between north and south. that's just obnoxious to me.

Ok, good day.

my name is Sylvia (although I wish it was Jonas)

Oh, geez. I just returned Capital One's phone call. I was hoping to do the irresponsible thing and just kind of blow them off, but my nerves felt a little shot when I heard the "UNKNOWN" ringer go off. It would have been too much... working 33+ hours and going to school at night. It would have been the worst. I guess for now, the job search grind continues. Trust me, it sucks not having a job and living off of my savings, but I know Jesus is gracious and will provide. So when this situation would have normaly bothered me at a level of 8, it's currently around a 5. He's slowly (yet surely) working on my trust.

$X

I have a job interview!

Well, it's only a phone interview...

But it's a start!

I quit the reading lab after three - almost four - semesters of working there. My boss was really upset about it, too. I had been seriously considering quitting for some time now, and when she sent me an e-mail saying she had scheduled me to work for Summer II I knew it was time.

I didn't want to quit over the phone or by e-mail, so I went in person (which was kind of a mistake).
As soon as I walked in, the first words out of Diana's (my reading lab boss) mouth were
"Oh Sylvia! I'm so glad your here! I thought you were going to be a no-show. We really needed you to work for Summer II :)"

"Oh,,,,,
actually, that's why I'm here"

:/ ::uh oh::

"Yeah, I uh... I don't think I'll be coming back to work here anymore. I just kind of feel that it's my Senior year and it's time to move on. I'm looking for a job that's more in the business field. I've started applying at banks, even!"

"Oh. OK. Yeah I uhm, I understand. It's just going to be hard looking for a replacement. I've made the schedules and everything :/"

"...sorry"

"Yeah, it's ok. Alright, well see you later."

Now, for my boss to kind of cut the conversation short and abruptly says a lot. This lady LOVES to talk so for her to dismiss me after talking so little means I'm definitely not her favorite person in the world.

But whatevs mofo.

I have my first interview with Capital One sometime soon. I need to call and schedule it today. I would be so stoked to work in a bank. It sounds cliche, but it could really open a lot of doors (there's a lot of room for advancement) and I would be working towards that experience that universities like to see on MBA applications.

So is it a
lose lose
lose win
win lose
win win
or
win win win?

well
diana = lose
sylvia = double win (cuz i'm so stoked)
so her lose cancels out
thus, leaving us with a
win win

tidbits

There is nothing like finding a great new song. I've had the privilege of finding several recently, and I found them all on my own. ;) I'm listening to one of them right now actually. The Big Pink's "Velvet".

Jeez, it's so good.

Anyways, once again, I come to Blogger with no point in my writing. I just saw that I hadn't updated in a while so I thought I'd stop by.

Oh, Blogger...
Don't be offended.
I swear I don't see you as a "chore".
Do you believe me?
So we're still friends?
OK, good.

I started looking into masters degrees this afternoon, and so far I have two universities on my "apply" list. Other than the obvious UT Austin, I've decided to look into Columbia University in NY. The east coast has been looking mighty nice recently, so I'm gonna search for other schools in the area.

I'm taking a finance course right now, and as it turns out i really really like it. I was surprised at how much I ended up liking it. It's kind of like accounting's distant cousin that you only see at reunions. You know they're related but only by a technicality.

My professor was talking about the New York Stock Exchange the other day, and it sounded interesting. Not the greed or the self-gain aspect, but the rush of having to run around and beat the bell. I made a mental note to work there one day. I don't know how serious I am about it, but it would be cool.

I feel like this summer has been an incredible season for me. I've really been able to find myself all over again. Before this whole phase, I found myself really attached to labels/people/scenarios. And even though the separation from it all has had its moments where it really hurt, I can't even begin to explain how worth it it has been.

Looks like Sylvia is finally growing up.

the worst

thing about having a sore throat is not being able to sing. I don't mind the pain or discomfort - that I can hack. I just hate the way my chords feel once I start singing. & the runny nose isn't helping much, either.

This sickness came out of nowhere, too. I was watching "He's Just Not That Into You" last night and BAM! out of nowhere my throat starts hurting. It's progressed slowly and now I officially feel like shat.

All of this talk about finance and management has been driving the right side of my brain crazy. I feel so much inspiration and creativity wanting to come forth but my time has to be wasted reading two chapters a day and taking quizzes galore every week. I really want to get started on a photo project I've had in mind for a while. Or even that movie Morris and I were going to film-it's be cool if that got up and running. But alas, life intervenes. and we sometimes tend to be more talk than action I suppose.

Let's not be that way
Let's just do it
That's what she said
...don't you dare.

This week has been really good considering my situation. Umm, it has definitely been different but still good nonetheless. My dad moved back in this week and the transition has thus far been smooth. He seems more like a visitor than a resident but maybe time will change that. He came in to my room last night as I was writing an e-mail to my pen pal and he just sat on my ben and asked questions

"So where are you writing to?"
"China and Canada"
"What? Really?! At the same time?"
"yep. same time"
"That's AMAZING!"

at this point, he just stood there and hovered. I usually hate it when people hover over me, but I didn't mind this time. One, because I was writing in English and I knew he probably couldn't make much sense of what I was typing. And Two, because he showed a genuine interest in wanting to be accepted. Like he was trying too hard or something. I liked the sincerity of it.

Ho Hum Ho HUm

I can't believe I haven't written about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs show. I mean, not that I will, but still. I think that the concert just meant so much to me that I rather keep that part of my heart to myself.

You might be thinking
"But Sylvia. It's just a concert? What else could you tell us about a concert that we haven't already heard?"

And you may be true. I could describe June 3rd as just any other show, but the feelings involved were just so much more than that. It would take too long to explain and I would come across as annoying (not that I'm not already, but that's another story).

Whatever. That day was great, and that's all I have to say about that.
That's it.
Fin

i was looking at my blog just now, and I think it looks really ugly.
the pink reminds me of pepto bismol
the pictures are in an awkward arrangment
and it just screams of an overall "bleh"
the only cool part is the lollipop
(and even that looks kind of bad because it probably tastes like black jelly beans)

so i'm sorry to the 2 people a month who accidentally click on my blog and have to see this mess

I'm in my room right now... waiting for Isabel to get off of the phone with her boyfriend. Here's a snippet of what I have to hear:

"Imagine if the keyboard at Guitar Center was edible?? Everyone would, like, get AIDS to the max because everyone has played on that keyboard" - Isabel

Yeah, not even kidding. I'm not teasing though. It's pretty cute to see a 16 year old girl in "love". Although my relationship at 16 was laughable at best, my feelings were sincere at the time - so I guess I can see that in her.

::now they're talking about how many calories could be in two waffles::

So... summer break has started! and I can't wait to do absolutely nothing. I'm planning some stuff, but who knows if it'll come to pass. Some things that definitely will happen, though, are:

• road trip with le Izzy and el hermano. We'll be going to San Antonio, Dallas, UNT, and Austin in 5 days. Victor was really rude this morning when we were planning it. He was saying how he wanted to stay in San Marcos, I said I don't want to, so he replied with an "Oh, well I don't think you have much of a say so anyways". Oh rlly? its my car.
• going to take two classes during summer I - managerial finance and small business management. supposedly one is hard and the other is uber easy so it'll balance into two "moderate"s. i'm not looking forward to it, but I want to learn a new language next year so I'm freeing up any space to take either French or Chinese.
• summer II will be either slacking or working part-time
• my birthday is coming up :) I'll be turning 21 in August. I decided that I would like to drive up and find an Indian or Thai restaurant to celebrate at. I also wouldn't mind smoking from a hookah or having a good cigar. I was never really fond of alcohol (so don't expect any drunk myspace pictures from this one), but I'll probably have a nice drink at the Indian place while I chew on my naan <3
  
• Oh, and my mom wants to rent a room on the island at some point. That'll be cool.

That's about it. Just plain old Sylvia having a lazy hazy crazy summer. I know it's not elaborate but I've always been content with the simple things.

Dear Finals Week,

You suck

Why can't you be cooler - like your cousin, Spring Break?

He is uber awesome

But I am glad you didn't get the swine flu

Because if not I would have had to put up with you even longer



Warm wishes,
Sylvia