a tiger is waiting to be tamed
Insecurity is such a strange topic. Its something that I have been struggling with lately and...yeah. It feels as if its something that you can't escape. No matter how great a day you are having there is always something that comes up/you notice/someone says that puts you back in your "place".
- I shouldn't of said that. Can't rewind.
- I don't want to do that. He's going to think I'm stupid. I'm only 19.
- 3 < 0
- You don't get it. You just won't fit it.
It's been really hard for me accepting who God says I am. I don't know about other people but in my opinion, I felt that if people were confident in their identity I perceived it as a form of arrogance. How can someone say something and believe it with all of their heart. I heard Bob Jones say once that he "was a beautiful son of God. an amazingly beautiful and awesome individual." How can someone say something like that and not feel uncomfortable? Not that I feel that he was off or wrong. His confidence is worthy of being envied. I'm just in a state where I can't understand the meaning of my identity in Christ. I had lunch with some great friends yesterday (that I need to hang out with more) and I was letting them know what my mind was saying about myself. But then he started saying all of the things that God and they think about me. That I was special. beautiful. worthy of great things. I noticed that I kind of looked at my food when he said that and nodded. I know I should agree but I haven't come to that state where I fully can.
But it's something Jesus can do in a heartbeat. Just because I struggle with it know doesn't mean I will in the days to come. So for now, I'm just gonna sit and chill out. I wanna hear the things God says about me and even though I might not feel it yet it still feels nice to be told.
2 comments:
“Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.”
In actuality anyone will believe anything, if exposed to answers-even ones that aren't real, long enough.
Humans are brilliant at adapting to their surroundings and even beliefs. In alot of cases of incidents on airplanes where all it takes is someone to scream something about a virus or disease on the plane, people on the plane start to develop symptoms out of thin air. Most of the time there is no real illness on the plane. Yet the mind is convinced. Rashes, vomiting, fever, faint spells are all because the mind is convinced of something thats not even true, causing perfectly healthy ppl to become temporarily sick.
My point being is that; you can believe anything with the enough convincing.
BUT
...if there are no symptoms. You're simply just not convinced~
Note #1: you spelled now as know.
haha. Just thought I'd throw that in there....you now...i mean KNOW how i cringe at those things. lol Yours was just cute though. :)
Note #2:
I loved the transparency of this blog. I think people find it hard sometimes to be honest about topics like this though. I can totally feel u though on this one. I've been asking God (even have my cell girls doing this) to show us what part of our identity is in a crisis. I mean, which part of the truth that God speaks over us do we have a hard time believing or accepting. then....why is that an issue. I think it's been working for me. Now that I'm finding out more about the inner me, I'm finding it easier to react to certain situations and even my flaws. haha. and you know me better than most, I had been having some rocky roller coaster rides a week back or so.
God is so amazing though...how He keeps loving even when we don't understand. He's like freakin in love with us dude! that's awesome! haha. I'm glad your my friend. Really, I am. We are going to look back years from now and be like...dang...look how far we've come.
&& I'm so freakin jealous that you're going to IHOP.!! lol
You are going to teach me so much when u come back! haha...be prepared. I'm gonna need it. lol. =DD
Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!
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