I don't think I will ever understand you. Maybe thats a good thing, although right now I don't see how it could be. And as hard as you may try, I don't think you will ever understand me either.

Impatience is one of my weaknesses. Why am I like this? Knowledge and information are my security. I would like to know everything about you and everyone you know. Not because I like to gossip or feel like being nosey. But because I would like to take the guessing game out of life. I'm frustrated. Hurt. Confused. These past couple of months have been like hell. I miss you and them. I miss 17 year old Sylvia. God, I'm so selfish...

I wish you would just make it stop already and make me blind. I forgot how ugly things surfacing looked like

I'm so happy God doesn't see it my way. I don't really know how to "search things out". I need You to help me with that.