pensive

Yesterday was the first time I put an eleven in front of the date. It felt a bit strange because I just got over the shock of switching to ten. Might not mean anything to some but it does to me. It means that my trip back home is right around the corner.

Roller coaster of emotions = ...---***---...---***---... = coming back to Brownsville

I really don't know how to feel. Part of me is really excited, sadness controls another part, and the last Sylvia is either anxious or worried (idon'tknowwhichworddescribesitbetter). For the most part, though, I think excitement is the biggest emotion.

"But why are you excited? Brownsville sucks. You said it yourself"

I know. I know. This is where the transparent part comes in. I was originally planning on coming home for a month and transferring to SA for the remainder of the college years, but God was so faithful to mess everything up (the saying "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans" comes to mind).

I got accepted into the school and all that jazz, but to make a long story short I had to make the adult decision of pulling my foot out of my mouth and decline the opportunity of leaving. I felt effin stupid and I was like "God, why did you give this to me only to take it away?" And this is what He said... ::ahem ahem::

"Because you suck"

jk. He thinks I'm cool.

He said "Because you're arrogant and you think that you're better than people. Just because I've called you to travel around doesn't mean you are in any way smarter/better/cooler than those who live in the valley. I love all the same."

So I was like "Ouch." but I feel great about it now. His plans are better than mine, and I know this last year of school will be wonderful.

That's one of the reasons why excitement is the biggest feeling of them all.

"And it feels like coming home for the first time in a long time"