suffocated

I felt really trapped today. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually

"I'm really dying in here and I'm afraid. No, I'm scared. I'm just scared. Just let me down."

Why are some people more oppressed than others? (I'm not talking about myself, so the sympathy or pity is unnecessary) It seems like some soar with ease while others have clipped wings.

I hate it because there is nothing I can do about it. I hate watching wreck after wreck.

These are the times that try my soul the most. Where I have to leave it to my invisible God to fix the mess. Can I really trust Him?

I'm so fickle. I love to have fun with Him and I believe Him when He comforts me.
But when it comes to others I have a hard time selling what I bought into.

Lord, help me. I hate that I'm fickle and that I believe that others can't have what I have or feel what I feel...

sorry, Jesus