how should i feel?

I found out today that Davy is going to be a dad... and by the title of this blog I'm sure you've noticed that I'm confused.

Man, it's weird. So weird.

I was with Davy for almost three years and for a good part of them it was fun. I have a lot of effed up memories with the guy, and it's surreal to see that he's going to be making a family with this girl.

I don't think I'm jealous. I definitely would not want to have a baby with him. I'm thankful that God spared me from having sex with him. I thank Him that I never fell into something stupid like that. But still

I want want a family. I didn't even mean to write "want" twice. I guess I really want it, huh?

Dude it's kind of not fair. How come he gets to have a baby and I'm reading books? Why does he get to get married and I'm kind of really afraid of the opposite sex?

Seriously wth. I was at Cricket paying my sister's phone bill, and the dude behind the counter was trying to talk to me. Flirting, idk. I won't flatter myself. But I noticed that as soon as I picked up on a weird vibe from him, I literally stood behind this wall.

I forced myself onto a wall that would seperate myself from the advances of the opposite sex.

story of me

Davy, good luck. quit the reefer and you'll be fine.

and as for me, well

well

well

maybe i should work on actually talking to guys before I open my mouth

praise God